Our 100% Sure-Fire Guaranteed plan
to stop those pesky Winning Streaks
ALWAYS BET MORE THAN
YOU CAN AFFORD TO LOSE
This is probably the best way to rid yourself of those pesky worldly possessions like your house or car. Make sure your always gamble with as much rent and grocery money as possible.
When you run short, be creative and borrow money from friends and relatives. (Remember not to tell the wife about this sure Losing strategy...sometimes they just don't understand.)
WHEN A HORSE STRIKES YOUR FANCY...
BET ON IT IMMEDIATELY!
If you have a gut feeling, don't wait to travel around the Monolopy board to pass go...Seize the moment!
Never use crutches like mathematical calculations or formulas, you
certainly know better than to use that kind of crap. Stand up to the bar and show those other idiots, that your hunches are better than
anything they can come up with.
BET HEAVILY ON THE PUBLIC CHOICE
The fans must know something, why else would they be betting all that money on one horse. You know that Favourites win about 33% of the time, so losing the other 66% of the time shouldn't’t pose a problem.
NEVER READ BOOKS OR ARTICLES ON HANDICAPPING
Looking for help from these fools is pure insanity. The real reason they write those books and articles is to throw you off the scent. They are just betting against you so they can keep the money themselves.
Come on…Don’t be a pussy…be a man and stay away from anything that could confuse your superior intelligence.
IMPRESS THE CHICKS WITH
THE SIZE OF YOUR BETS
Nothing says money, like losing vast amounts of it. Let’s fact it, big losers are very sexy to women. If you can lose money like that, they know you must be loaded.
TRY TO BE DRUNK, ON DRUGS, SLEEPY,
AND FLIRT WITH THE CHICKS
Try to stay as numb as possible with booze and as many drugs as possible. This will dull any pain of losing. Oh, and try to chat up the bar maid while the
other idiots are studying the race. It give you a clear shot at her, while the other suckers are tending to business.
FORGET MONEY MANAGEMENT...
IT'S ONLY FOR WINNERS
Change the size of your bet each race. Remember your hunch is always the most reliable weapon in your arsenal. (See #1 on hunches) Always double up after any bet.
It’s really simply, if you won the last race, push that “winning streak” and double your profits. If you lost the last race, now’s the time to double up so you can get even.
You might want to take a look at some “Due” betting systems that get you even or bankrupt sooner by doubling up on each wager.
GET TIPS FROM JOCKEYS, STABLE HANDS, OR PROFESSIONAL TIPSTERS
These are the people in the know, take full advantage of their knowledge. Just because the stable guy is sleeps in the barn with the horses, doesn’t mean he isn’t a winner.
Everybody has their ups and downs in life. Look for touts that have a strike rate of 98% or greater. They will have you laying horses that go off at 100 – 1 and all you need is a large bankroll.
And let's face it, those 100-1 shots really never win anyway
ALWAYS BET IN RUNNING
Spontaneous betting is always a good thing. Many times I get my best hunches during the running of a race. Remember, those Betfair guys who are laying horses at 50-1 with huge bankrolls are all fools.
When you do lose, you can always blame it on your crappy Internet bandwidth.
USE ASTROLOGY, HOROSCOPES,
FAVOURITE COLOURS AND LUCKY NUMBERS
Be superstitious, the other bettors are completely missing this hidden way to riches. Try to put as many wacky systems together as possible. See if they horses name, the day of the week,
and the jockeys first name all have the same number of letters….If so…You have a winning system. (ADDED BONUS: If the horse and jockey have the same birthday…Bet the house)
Now for something completely different
Okay, so we are just putting you on...
Maybe you want to check out the "Top 10 Ways to Win" for a serious look at the subject.
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